Wow, you must really be bored. Are you sure you don't have anything better to do? I mean, really. Netflix put Twin Peaks on instant play. Don't tell me you've seen both seasons because I know you haven't.

Okay, so you have seen both seasons. What did you think of the ending? It bummed you out, right?  It's a totally pessimistic view of mankind and the way the world is devolving into a hopeless fight against the forces of evil. You just can't win. And oh, my God, now I'm picturing Bob, who is the scariest mothertrucker I've ever seen IN MY LIFE. I am a grown-up and I still can't look that dude in the face. It's just too scary. I know it's just some greasy long-haired guy and a strobe light, but still. You don't forget that shit when you see it late at night and you're, like, 12.

Tell you what.  Since everything's going to hell in a handbasket anyway, you can email me at

Or find me on Facebook.

Or follow me on Twitter.

Or circle me on Google+.  That sounds kind of dirty, doesn't it?  Just tell me your name's not Bob.